All Posts

People usually keep doubts about their marriage to themselves. Here we’re not talking about ordinary concerns about the relationship or even feeling in a stuck pattern—instead, we’re talking about worries about whether the marriage will survive. This is scary to think about. If you tell others, you might get unhelpful suggestions such as “just listen to your inner voice” or “make a pros and cons list”! The doubts stay underground, coming and going, sometimes for years. Marita

When a spouse announces they want a divorce, emotions often run high. In that pain and confusion, many people unintentionally say or do things that escalate conflict or make an already difficult situation harder. One common mistake is telling no one at all—often out of shame, fear, or a reluctance to fully acknowledge the reality of the situation. The result can be isolation, emotional overwhelm, and getting stuck alone in painful thoughts and reactions. Another mistake is te

It’s commonly believed that when people enter the legal divorce process, they have come to accept the reality that divorce is inevitable. Even therapists and lawyers tend to assume that once divorce papers are filed, ambivalence about divorcing is over and the only task ahead is to help couples have a constructive end to their marriage. Recent research shows that these assumptions are not founded. In fact, many divorcing people aren’t sure they want their marriage has to en

Saving a marriage in crisis is rarely easy. These six guidelines are meant to help you respond thoughtfully during a highly emotional time. While they may go against your instincts right now, adding more urgency, pressure, or drama rarely helps. Steadiness, patience, and clarity are often far more powerful. --- This article is adapted from educational materials provided through the Discernment Counseling network and The Doherty Relationship Institute.

Couples can easily find themselves in painful and confusing territory when one partner feels uncomfortable with the other’s “friendship” with someone who could potentially become a romantic interest. These situations often lead to circular arguments about what actually counts as cheating. Does it require physical contact? Is flirting enough? What about texting, emotional closeness, or secrecy? Unfortunately, those debates rarely bring relief. The partner who feels hurt or uns